DISCLAIMER: 5 in the series. Bill’s comedy routine is actually from past routines by the REAL Bill Engvall! And now-

REALITY GEMS 5: CRYSTAL BLUE PERSUASION

The mood on the Animarium was bordering on tense. Bill Engvall, the Blue Tiger ThunderCat, decided to ease the nervousness by doing an impromptu comedy routine for everyone. Billy Cranston 1, Bill’s mentor, watched as Bill tried to ease everyone’s nerves. He started with this-

“My girl in high school had a 12 foot boa constrictor, she named it Fluffy. That’s just sick in my book. Well, we go over to her house, I don’t know about the snake, and she says, “Hang on while I get into something more comfortable, okay?” and I’m like, “All right!” A few minutes later, she comes out wearing that snake around her neck, I’m backin’ away, saying, “No thanks, I can drive.” She says to me, “No, wait, Bill. Fluffy can wrap around us while we snuggle.” I said, “No, he can’t. ‘Cause I’ll kill him. Okay?”

Applause ripped though the Animarium, and even Batman 1 grinned as Bill continued: “Because of the 90’s, we started using the word ‘awesome.’ Webster’s dictionary defines awesome as “anything that leaves you in awe and wonder.” Like winning the lottery … twice. That would be awesome. Getting a phone call from the IRS saying you’ve been audited and they owe you $50,000. That would be awesome. Ladies, you wake up tomorrow and the newspaper reads “Scientists have discovered a way for men to experience childbirth.” That would be awesome. Getting invited to the Playboy Mansion … on trampoline night. That would be awesome. And I started thinking what would be awesome for Bill Engvall? What would leave me in awe and wonder? And it would have to be if I left this stage tonight and went back to my hotel room. And Shania Twain met me at my door, wearing nothing but a fur coat, holding a note from my wife that said “have a good time.” THAT would be AWESOME! It ain’t gonna happen; but that would be awesome.”

More screams of laughter, then: I was at the gym the other day working out with my buddy. My buddy Joey. And he goes “Hey, man, I’m getting a divorce.” I said “Wow, that sucks. Can you spot me?” That was our whole conversation! So later that night, I’m speaking to Shirley, and I say “Hey, Joey is getting a divorce.” She goes “Oh, my God! What happened?” “I dunno.” “What do you mean you don’t know? Is she cheating on him, is he cheating on her?” “Again, I’m not holding anything back here, I don’t know!” She goes “Bill, someone tells you they’re getting a divorce and you don’t ask any questions?” And I go “Well, that’s because he didn’t ask me a question! He didn’t say ‘Hey Bill, what do you think about me getting a divorce?’, he said, ‘I’m getting a divorce’, which said to me, ‘I require no further input on your part.'” If he had said ‘What do you think about me getting a divorce?’, I’d have said, ‘Well, you’re gonna be dating again, so you should work on your pecs’.

The best part came up with: “I just hate stupid people. They should have to wear signs that say “I’m Stupid”. That way you wouldn’t rely on them, and you wouldn’t ask them for nothing.

Chris and I were flying kites in the park, when this one guy walked up and asked ‘Y’all flyin’ a kite?’ I quickly told him ‘Nope, fishin’ for birds! Here’s your sign.”

Keith Partridge then shouted “Tell ’em the one you did.”

Bill frowned. “Aw, why’d you have to bring that up?”

“Come on, share that one with the group.” Keith insisted.

“Alright. Well, nobody’s immune from this, not even me.”

“Not even Brainiac here.” Keith threw in.

Bill gave him a ‘I am so going to get you for this!’ look before continuing “I’m in the car park at the mall, and there’s this guy with a coat hanger inside his window… and I could not stop myself. I said, “You lock your keys in your car?”‘ The driver looked at me and said ‘No, just washed it, gonna hang it up to dry (dumbass). Here’s your sign.’

I was on this plane coming back from an engagement in Florida, but the plane hit a deer, and we had to turn back. I was on the phone telling Shirley what happened. On the phone, I heard Danny ask ‘Oh my God! Was he on the ground?’ I swear to god I heard Shirley tell him ‘Nope, Santa was making one last run. Here’s your sign.’

I was on a trip to go deer hunting with my old girlfriend. She looks at the Deer Crossing sign and asks ‘Why do they put those signs up? Deer can’t read!’ Without looking at her, I replied ‘No, but they do recognize pictures of themselves. Here’s your sign.’ Later, on the same trip, she asks ‘When do the deer turn up?’ I pause, then tell her ‘I don’t know. They didn’t return the call to set up the meeting! Here’s your sign.’

A truck driver got his truck stuck under an overpass, with me watching. A cop comes by and asks ‘You get your truck stuck?’ God bless that trucker, without missing a beat, he goes: “Nope, I was deliverin’ that overpass and I ran outta gas.” Here’s your sign.’

I pulled my car into a gas station after my tire goes flat. The attendant asks ‘Tire go flat?’ ‘Nope, I was drivin’ along and the other three just swelled right up!’ I swear to God, the attendant spoke up with ‘Well, the heat’ll do that.’ Here’s your sign.

This past summer, Shirley, the kids and I were packing up their stuff to move to Angel Grove, with a U-Haul truck sitting in their driveway. A friend comes by and asks, ‘Y’all movin?’ ‘Nope, me and the Partridges just like to pack all our stuff up once or twice a week, just to see how many boxes it takes. Here’s your sign.’

Keith, Laurie, Chris, and I once went fishing, and got a boat with a big string of bass. An on-looker saw us and asked ‘You catch all them fish?’ ‘Nope, talked ’em into givin’ up. Here’s your sign.’

I had an Elk hung on the wall of my apartment, and a neighbor asked ‘Did you shoot that thing?’ ‘Nope. He ran through the wall and got stuck. Here’s your sign.’

I was once in an office elevator going up. A guy walks up and asks ‘Excuse me, are these the elevators that go up?’ ‘No, these are the ones that go side to side. The up ones are down the hall. (to audience) HE WALKED AWAY! Here’s your sign.’

I was doing a show in Buffalo, New York, and I go down to get my luggage, but mine didn’t show up, which I know happens. So I go down to the lost luggage office, where everybody is in SUCH a good mood. Who applies for that job? Who says, ‘I want to work in lost luggage?’ You don’t have a good day. That’s like having a job emptying port-a-potties, you’re just going to catch crap all day long. So I’m trying to be nice to this woman in the lost luggage office, and I said, ‘Excuse me?’ She goes, ‘Can I help you?’ ‘Yes, you lost my luggage.’ She looked me right in the eye and-I still can’t believe this one-asks ‘Has your plane landed yet?’ ‘No, princess. I’m having an out of body experience. I’m just checkin’ on it. Here’s your sign.’

In the store, I was buying some pants, when the clerk asked ‘You gonna buy these?’ ‘Nope, gonna steal ’em. Just wanted you to see them before I walked out of the store. Here’s your sign.’

For three days, I was helping Keith with the front porch of his house. The 2nd day, there was a cement truck in their yard. A neighbor asked ‘You pouring concrete?’ I was so proud of Keith, he looked at the guy,l sighed, then he snapped ‘No, we’re making big margaritas. Here’s your sign.’

A friend bought two cakes for his wife’s birthday, with a “3” on one and an “8” on the other. The store clerk asked ‘Oh, do you have twins?’ My buddy, quickly told her ‘Yes, ma’am. My wife was in labor for five years. Here’s your sign.’

Despite the laughs, Sabrina Duncan, the Blue Power Angel, was still looking concerned. Billy 1 walked up to her and asked “Penny for your thoughts.”

“Sorry, Billy. I’m a little nervous. If we don’t collect all of the Gems-what will happen to everything? I mean, even after all we do-”

Batman 1 overheard this, and walked over. “Then we’ll get them back. In the meantime, I have an idea. I have been considering an investigative branch of the JLA. You and the other Power Angels will be a part of this group, but powers aren’t a criteria for this team. I am looking for the finest investigators, profilers, agents, and CSIs. They will be a part of this group.”

Right then, the fountain activated. “Another Gem has been found-between Angel Grove and Briarwood, home of the Mystic Force Rangers. Who’s going this time?” Princess Shayla asked.

“I’ll go. I haven’t seen any action so far.” Green Lantern 1 spoke up then.

“All five-I mean, all seven of us will go.” Keith Partridge said bluntly.

“I’m up for this.” Wonder Woman 1 smiled.

“No rest for the weary.” Jackie Burkhardt spoke.

Kimberly 1 smiled at Jackie and said, “We’re on call 24 hours a day.”

“We’ll all go, too.” Jason 1 spoke for his team of Power Rangers.

“Sabrina, Kelly, and I will go, too.” Jill Munroe, the Red Power Angel added.

“Piper, Phoebe, and I are coming, too.” Prue Halliwell finished.

“I HAVE ACCESSED A TIME PORTAL IN BOTH UNIVERSES. CALLISTO HAS APPEARED IN THE PRESENT. XENA & GABRIELLE ARE COMING-FROM BOTH UNIVERSES.” Zordon 1 spoke up.

“Sounds good to me. If Callisto has joined this bunch, we’ll need all the help we can get. I wonder if Hercules joining either of them?” Hawkman frowned.

“In the meantime, Kris and Julie can help me find the following people on this list.” Batman 1 told everyone.

The fountain then revealed an image of several villains in the Briarwood area. “Uh oh,” said Wonder Woman 1. “I think you know what to do Rangers.”

“Right,” said Jason 1 with a nod. “It’s Morphin Time!”

“TIGERZORD!”

“STEGOSAURUS!”

“MASTODON!”

“PTERODACTYL!”

“TRICERATOPS!”

“SABER-TOOTHED TIGER!”

“TYRANNOSAURUS!”

Keith then ordered, “ThunderCats, Time to Rock!”

“JAGUAR!”

“LYNX!”

“LEOPARD!”

“CHEETAH!”

“TIGER!”

“COUGAR!”

“LION!”

Finally, Sabrina commanded, “ANGEL POWER!” She, Kelly, and Jill punched their fists together, their gems glowed, and they were suited up.

“We’re out of here!” declared Kelly. All the heroes were teleported off to their destination.

Briarwood:

On his Ninja Motorcycle, the new Shadow ThunderCat sped towards Briarwood, when-

“You have found the Blue Reality Gem! Surrender it now!” a voice bellowed. It turned out to be a reformed King Mondo, along with Prince Gasket, Archerina, Heat Wave, the Top, Aegeus, Syonide, and-

“Callisto?” Mondo bellowed.

“Those Gems are mine!” Callisto snapped.

“Treacherous Witch! Those are ours!” Mondo bellowed.

“Bite me, turkeys! None of you are taking that!” Dan shouted as he approached. He swiped the gem from the bickering villains and began fighting the fiends while still on his motorcycle, when the other heroes arrived.

Kelly Garrett, the Black Power Angel, shot a field of darkness towards Archerina. “Gasket, my darling, help me! This witch has trapped me!”

“Just watch, that’s not all I’m gonna do!” Kelly snapped, and jumped into the darkened area. After a few crashes, Kelly walked out, carrying Archerina’s head. With a smile on her face, Kelly quipped, “AWWWWWWWWW! She lost her head!”

“WITCH! You will pay for ending my beloved!” Gasket shouted, and fired at Kelly, when the Shadow ThunderCat jumped in front of the blast, slinging his sword to hit the beam, sending it back to it’s source. Daniel then threw 2 throwing stars, short circuiting the fiend.

“Not very sturdy, this ‘Machine Empire’, are they?” Daniel asked.

Meanwhile; One Police Plaza-

Kris Munroe walked into Major Case Department. The Yellow Power Angel was on a mission. She found 2 of the detectives she was looking for. “Mike Logan and Carolyn Barek?”

“Yup. Need anything?” Det. Mike Logan asked. Right then, the other 2 detectives she was looking for came into the squadroom.

“Robert Goren & Alexandra Eames?” asked Kris.

“As Mike asked, can we help you?” Det. Alexandra Eames asked.

“Yes. My name is Kris Munroe. I was looking for the 4 of you. We need your assistance on a case we are working on.”

“We?” Det. Carolyn Barek asked.

Kris sighed. “Best if I just showed you. ANGEL POWER!” She then transformed into the Yellow Power Angel. The other three detectives looked surprised, but Det. Robert Goren just looked puzzled.

“Why us?” asked Goren.

“The Batman says you are the best,” answered Kris. “We need you for an Investigative Dept. for the JLA.”

Eames looked doubtful. “Batman wants us for this team?”

“If you’d like, you can come with me and find out.” Kris finished. And with that, the five teleported out.

Back in Briarwood, the Shadow ThunderCat and Jill Munroe, the Red Power Angel, were fighting a pack of Hunger Dogs, when Mondo, and a group of Cogs tried to destroy them with sonic blasts. But before they could have any effect-

“MAGICAL SOURCE, MYSTIC FORCE!”

Six New Rangers showed up, and promptly began to trash some of the Hunger Dogs. Jill recognized them right away. “The Mystic Force Rangers! This is their turf, anyway!”

“Nice to be known!” Vida Rocca, the Pink Wind Mystic Ranger, smiled under her helmet, then sent a powerful gust of wind at the fiends, saying, “Despite what I’m wearing, Pink is NOT my favorite color, but trust me, it’s not going to be yours, either!” The Cogs and Hunger Dogs they were facing were completely trashed.

“Hey, Vida, you could have saved something for me!” Chip Thorn, the Yellow Energy Mystic Ranger, shouted.

“I have a feeling there will be plenty more for us to fight.” Udonna, the White Snow Mystic Ranger, told him.

“That’s the truth!” Kelly shouted.

Kelly was proven right as more Cogs and Hunger Dogs charged into the fray. “Alright!” cried Chip as he sent lightning strikes at both sets of foes, putting them out of commission. Udonna then used her mastery over cold and wind to freeze Cogs and blow away Hunger Dogs.

“I’ll do the rest,” said Green Lantern 1. He then created a bull with his power ring. The bull snorted and charged forward, shattering the frozen Cogs. GL 1 smirked and said, “You mess with the bull, you get the horns.”

Heat Wave then approached, saying, “I’ll melt you down!” He fired his flamethrower. However, Nick Russell , the Red Fire Mystic Force Ranger, countered, using his own mastery of fire. It was a battle of wills.

Jill then approached Nick, saying, “Let me give you a hand.” Adding her own burst of fire, Heat Wave was soon overwhelmed, his flamethrower melting, and his costume being set on fire.

As his body began to be engulfed in flames, Sabrina said, “Time to cool you off, Heat Wave.” She then shot a burst of water, dousing the flames and wiping him out.

Billy 1 stopped fighting for the moment, leaving the battle to the others. He went to check on the now-unconscious Heat Wave. When he was satisfied that he wasn’t too badly hurt, Billy 1 said, “He’s got some burns, but he’ll live.”

“Now, to take care of the rest,” said Madison Rocca, the Blue Water Mystic Force Ranger. She and Sabrina then used various water-related tricks to take out more Cogs and Hunger Dogs.

Impressed by Madison’s skills, Sabrina smiled at her and nodded, saying, “We make quite a team, don’t we?”

Maddie smiled underneath her helmet and said, “That we do.”

Meanwhile-Philadelphia, Pennsylvania:

Julie Rogers walked into the Philadelphia Cold Case Dept. She walked up to a blond detective and asked, “Det. Lilly Rush?”

“Yes. Can I help you?”

“You are not going to believe this, but the Batman sent me. I’m Julie Rogers-”

“-one of Charlie Townsend’s ‘Angels.’ Why do you need my help?” Lilly asked bluntly.

“The Justice League. They need the best detectives. The Batman feels that you and Det. Scotty Valens are 2 of those people. Can you come to One Police Plaza in New York City?” Julie asked, handing her a signal device.

“I assume this has a teleport function?” Lilly asked.

“But of course.”

Back in Briarwood, Jason 1, Tommy 1, Keith, and Hyde took on Callisto. However, despite being at a four-on-one disadvantage, Callisto had the upper hand. Jason1 and Keith swiped at her with their swords, but Callisto parried, pushed them away, and struck them down. Tommy 1 and Hyde tried to attack individually, but Callisto handled them just as easily.

As the four Rangers regrouped, Hyde said, “This lady’s tougher than she looks.”

“She never seems to get tired,” added Keith.

“Why don’t you just give it up?” asked Callisto. “You know you can’t defeat me.”

“Why do you ask questions to which you already know the answers, you blonde bimbo?” countered Jason 1.

“We’ll never surrender to the likes of you,” said Tommy 1. “Not this day, not any day.”

“So be it,” said Callisto. “I will enjoy this very much. Though you outnumber me, there is only one who has ever been able to best me. And she’s not here to bail you out.”

“Oh, yes, she is,” said a voice from behind. Callisto turned and her jaw dropped at the sight of not one, but two Xenas!

“Xena?” asked Callisto in disbelief. “But. . . but. . . how did you get here? And why are there two of you?”

“Let’s just say, we’ve got friends in this timeframe,” answered Xena 1.

“I’ve got to say, you look just like the Callisto I know back in my own universe,” added Xena 2. “And you’re just as arrogant-and stupid.”

“I’ll kill the both of you!” yelled Callisto as she charged. Callisto never stood a chance.

As Jason 1, Tommy 1, Keith, and Hyde watched in amazement as both Xenas fought, Hyde’s sword spoke up. “Oh, my goodness. Those Xenas are something else.”

“You can say that again,” said Saba.

Hyde looked at both swords before looking at Tommy 1. “So, you’ve got a talking sword, too?”

Smiling underneath his helmet, Tommy 1 shrugged and said, “You get used to it.”

“Should we help Xena, both Xenas, out?” asked Keith.

Trini 1 ran over to them, saying, “I don’t think that will be necessary. Trust me, they’ve got things well in hand. Now come on, we’ve still got work to do.”

As they watched Trini 1 reengage the Cogs and the Hunger Dogs, Jason 1 said, “Let’s go!”

Both Xenas blocked Callisto’s sword strike. After finally managing to knock Callisto’s sword out of her hand, Xena 1 landed a kick, followed by one from Xena 2. They then punched her simultaneously, knocking her out.

London, England:

After visiting New York, Kris was teleported to England-the address of John Steed, to be exact. He was home, along with Emma Peel, his partner in fighting madmen for the last 15 years. With them were protégés Mike Gambit, and Purdey, along with Mrs. Peel’s predecessor, Mrs. Catherine Gale. They were discussing a case they had just recently finished, when Kris arrived. “Hello. I was-” Kris had started.

“Glad to help. When do we start?” Mrs. Peel asked.

Kris stammered “How did you-”

“Mrs. Peel does that sometimes. Your Batman contacted us earlier and told us what he had in mind. We’ll also help look for these Reality Gems as well. Shall we begin?” Steed finished.

Back in Briarwood, the Rangers continued to battle Cogs and Hunger Dogs. Kimberly 1 fired her Power Bow, taking out Hunger Dogs. “Let’s rock their world!”

Laurie fired her own bow, putting Cogs down. She said, “This is getting ridiculous. We knock one down, ten more take its place!”

“Just keep fighting,” said Zack, even as he chopped down Hunger Dogs with his Power Axe. “You just have to show them who’s boss!”

“Oh, we’re doing that, alright,” said Chris as he took down more with his own axe.

“The fact that they’re stupider than the stupidest of stupid people certainly helps,” said Bill as he fought off both enemy types with his lance.

Billy 1 took down more enemies with his own lance before saying, “Having one of these helps too.” He then used his power ring to create multiple buzzsaws, slicing through several Cogs and taking them out of the fight.

Trini 1 and Tracy battled Hunger Dogs, taking down several. Trini 1 smiled underneath her helmet as she watched her young protégé’s prowess. “You’re getting better every day, Tracy.”

Tracy smiled under her own helmet, saying, “Thanks, Trini. That means a lot to me.”

As she fought off Cogs and Hunger Dogs with her Power Slings, Samantha asked, “How are you holding up, Jackie?”

“I’ll be fine,” answered the Purple ThunderCat. “It’s these guys you should be worried about.” This got a smile out of Samantha.

Suddenly, a man charged into the fray, bashing both enemy types with sheer brute strength. Recognizing him, Trini 1 cried out, “Hercules!”

Hercules 1 smiled and said, “And not just me.”

Another Hercules then ran into the fight, taking out more enemies. “I agreed to join in, too,” said Hercules 2 with a smile of his own.

“Don’t forget about us,” came a feminine voice. It was Gabrielle 1, along with Gabrielle 2, and they were skillfully fighting both Cogs and Hunger Dogs with their staffs. Gabrielle 1 smiled and said, “You know, Gabrielle, you make a pretty good warrior.”

Gabrielle 2 smiled as well, saying, “Why, thank you very much, Gabrielle. You’re not so bad yourself.” It was obvious they were teasing each other.

“Alright, that’s enough, you two,” said Iolaus 1 as he fought off enemies with his sword. He then smirked, turned to his doppleganger, and asked, “Hey, do you know who you remind me of?”

Iolaus 2 returned the smirk and said, “Wait, I know the answer to this one. . . um, yourself?”

Iolaus 1 smiled and answered, “Yeah.” They then continued fighting.

Quantico, Virginia:

Julie walked into the Behavioral Analysis Unit (B.A.U.). She had 6 specific people in mind, and ran right into one of them. “Emily Prentiss?” she asked.

“Yes. We were contacted by Charles Townsend that you would be in touch with us. We’re waiting for you in our debriefing room. Would you like to join us there?” Emily asked.

Around the conference table, Julie and Emily were joined by Agents Derek Morgan, Dr. Spencer Reid, Penelope Garcia, Aaron ‘Hotch’ Hotchner, Jennifer ‘JJ’ Jareau, and at the head of the table, Jason Gideon. “It seems that the Batman has gotten in touch with Mr. Townsend, and contacted us to help find these Gems-along with this idea he has. There is something else we have found out about these Reality Gems-Dr. Reid can tell you more about this.” Gideon told Julie.

“In addition to the 5 main Angel Gems, there are 4 subgems-these are not as powerful as the main 5, but can form a team of seconds to the Power Angel team. Like the main 5, the possessors must be heroic and honest-but, unlike them, they can be possessed by either women or men. Three of them must wait until the 5th Reality Gem is found-but the 4th Angel Gem has possibly been found.” Reid told everyone.

“Elle seems to have found the 4th Angel Gem. She is on her way here now.” Jareau told everyone. This was intriguing to Julie. Jareau was referring to former B.A.U. Agent Elle Greenway.

The battle continued in Briarwood, as Wonder Woman 1 fought through a pack of Cogs and Hunger Dogs. She forced her way over to her intended target. “MONDO!” she bellowed.

King Mondo turned to the Amazon Princess and would have smiled if he were capable of it. “Ah, Wonder Woman, I’ve been looking forward to this showdown. Unlike Superman, you’re not invulnerable, so it will give me great pleasure to destroy you!” He then began firing shots from his staff.

Wonder Woman 1, however, deflected the shots with her bracelets. One of them knocked Mondo’s staff out of his hands, causing him to cry out. He had no time to respond as Wonder Woman 1 flew forward and knocked him down with one punch. She stood over the Machine King and frowned, saying, “You never learn.” She then stomped his head, crushing it. “Rust in pieces.”

Washington, DC: Navy Yard:

“Batman.” Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs spoke to seemingly no one.

“How did you do that? Usually no one can find me if I don’t want to be found.”

“I have my ways. About this idea of yours-” Gibbs spoke up.

“I want you and your best agents as part of this team. Would your Director be upset if I left him out of this process?” Batman asked.

“Not really. Besides, we’re ready to go.”

“Now, we’re-” Batman started, when he realized there was no one there anymore. “So-that’s what it feels like.”

Back in Briarwood, Aegeus saw Wonder Woman 1 take out King Mondo and said, “You may have defeated King Mondo, Wonder Woman, but I will destroy you myself!”

“I’m afraid you won’t get the chance,” said Prue Halliwell.

Aegeus turned to see the Charmed Ones standing before him. He laughed and said, “Do you amateur witches think you stand a chance against me?”

“Hmm, let me think about it,” said Piper in mock thought. “Yes!”

“We’ll see about that!” said Aegeus as he charged forward.

“Yes, let’s,” said Phoebe with a smirk.

Aegeus charged from the sky on his stolen winged horse, Pegasus, attempting to shoot the Charmed Ones with his thunderbolt arrows, but Piper was ready. 1st, she caused his thunderbolt to explode in his face, then froze him in time. “Amateur witches my ass!”

“Piper.” Prue chided gently, then Astral Projected herself to Aegeus’ location, and swiped his Vulcan Blade. “Looking for this?” Astral Prue snickered as she threw it towards Wonder Woman 1, then went back into her body.

“Hey, save something for me!” Phoebe shouted, then levitated herself up to the spot, stole his bow, then came back down to Earth.

Aegeus was soon able to move, and saw what had happened. “Damn you, witches.

“No, damn you. Nighty Night!” Piper snickered, as Prue used telekinesis to first steal the remaining thunderbolt arrows, then throw him off of his horse, causing him to fall into the trees, then take a painful fall to the ground, landing in front of Wonder Woman 1. “AWWWW. Did little Aegey fall down?”

“!” Aegeus charged the Avenging Amazon, only to get knocked out with one punch.

Piper smiled. “His career in crime is OVER!”

Bayport, Michigan:

“Ms. Munroe, how can we help on this?” Frank Hardy asked the blonde visitor.

“You have been recommended by the Batman for this. We need your help in finding out as much as you can about the Reality Gems. Can you be at One Police Plaza in New York as soon as possible?”

“Of course. We’ll get there as soon as we can.” Joe Hardy answered for both himself and his brother.

In Briarwood, Xander Bly, the Green Nature Mystic Force Ranger, tried to reason with Syonide, “Look, Syonide, I’m sure there’s some kind of agreement we can reach here. No need for violence.”

Syonide charged forward with his hatchets, crying out, “I don’t make deals with the likes of you. I’ll take on all of you!”

Xander shrugged and said, “Suit yourself. But don’t worry, you won’t have to take on all of us. Just me!” He then easily overwhelmed Syonide, taking him down with two kicks. He then caused vines to burst from the ground, which wrapped around Syonide, making him unable to move. Xander shook his head and said, “You know, you could have just let me reason with you.”

River Heights, Ohio:

Nancy Drew looked at Julie Rogers and wasted no time with her answer:

“When do we start?”

Briarwood:

The Top tried to confuse the heroes by throwing little spinning discs to disorient them, when the Shadow ThunderCat snuck up behind him and whispered “Hello.” Then, knocked him out with a kung fu hold. “Dumbass.” Dan said to himself.

“Where’s the Blue reality Gem?” Laurie asked.

“I’ve got it. Shall we tell the bad guys this fight is over?” Sabrina asked.

“Nah. Let them waste some more of their time before we crash their world down on them.” Jill smiled.

New York City:

“Batman, we usually don’t do things like this. The Commisssioner is going to wonder about this.” Lt. Danny Messner told him.

“We have a chance to help out all reality here. I say yes.” Det.1st Grade Stella Bonasera told him.

“I’ll speak to the rest of the team, but it’s a safe bet the answer is yes.” Det. 1st Grade Mac Taylor spoke up.

Briarwood:

Sabrina Duncan quickly took the Blue Reality Gem and hid it in her body. “Hey, turkeys. It’s over.”

Heat Wave, Syonide, Aegeus, and the Top surrendered. Callisto had already been sent back to her own time. But, the pieces of Mondo, Gasket, and Archerina, disappeared rather quickly. “We’d better head back to the Animarium. I have a feeling that Danny is up to something.” Keith frowned. Looking at the shadow ThunderCat, he said, “You should come along too.”

Before leaving, Wonder Woman 1 said, “Thanks for your help, Mystic Force Rangers.”

“It was our pleasure,” said Nick with a nod.

“If you’re ever in Briarwood again, be sure and drop into the Rock Porium,” said Xander. “We’ll give you a ten percent discount.”

Smiling under his helmet, Zack 1 said, “As long as your music jams, we just might have to take you up on that offer.”

“Alright, everyone, let’s go,” said Jason 1. With that, they teleported out.

On the Animarium, a fake Blue Reality Gem had joined the other copies. Danny Partridge was trapped in a field of energy, courtesy of Zordon. “LET ME OUT OF HERE! I SWEAR YOU ARE ALL GOING TO REGRET THIS!” he shouted.

Isis 1 looked over at Danny, then at Batman 1, then Keith. “Is everything ready?”

Keith took off his helmet and looked at his trapped brother. “Everything. The Charmed Ones are ready too. The spell is ready to go.”

Batman 1 told everyone, “Then- ‘Let Us Begin’.” He spoke, quoting John F. Kennedy.

Xena, Gabrielle, Hercules, and Iolaus (from both Universes) looked around the Animarium in amazement. “This place is magnificent,” breathed Iolaus 2.

Trini 1 demorphed as Xena 1 approached her. They then hugged, Trini 1 whispering, “It’s good to see you again.”

Xena 1 smiled and said, “Likewise.”

Xena 2 turned when she heard a voice. “Xena?” Xena 2 turned to see Kat 2 approaching with a smile on her face.

Xena 2 let out a smile of her own. “Kat,” she said as she walked over to her descendant, bridging the gap.

As they hugged, Kat 2 said, “It’s good to see you again. I just wish I had been able to fight by your side again.”

As both Gabrielles watched, they spoke.

Gabrielle 1: “We have got. . .”

Gabrielle 2: “. . . to stop meeting like this.” The two looked at each other, realizing they were both thinking the same thing. They couldn’t help but laugh.

Trini 1 smiled and said, “Sometimes, I think these. . .”

“. . . are the only circumstances under which we can meet,” finished Kat 2. Like both Gabrielles had done, Trini 1 and Kat 2 just looked at each other and laughed.

The Shadow ThunderCat demorphed at the same time as the others-and met Zordon for the 1st time. “CAPT. DANIEL AYDELOTT, WE WELCOME YOU. THERE ARE THREE RULES YOU MUST ABIDE BY: 1: NEVER USE YOUR POWER FOR PERSONAL GAIN. 2: NEVER ENTER A BATTLE UNLESS ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY. AND 3: KEEP YOUR IDENTITY SECRET.”

“Fine with me. What’s next?” Dan asked.

“The Purple Reality Gem. We have to find that. I’ve got the new Investigative Branch of the Justice League ready to help out here. In the meantime, we wait.” Batman 1 finished.

Zordon 1 spoke up again. “XENA, HERCULES.” Both Xenas and both Hercules’ turned, along with both Gabrielle’s and both Iolaus’. “WE THANK YOU FOR YOUR ASSISTANCE. IT IS NOW TIME TO SEND YOU BACK HOME.”

“You’re very much welcome,” said Hercules 1 with a nod.

“If you ever need our help again, we’ll be more than happy to oblige,” said Hercules 2.

“Shame we couldn’t stay longer,” said Iolaus 1. “I’d like to see what the world is like 2000 years into the future.”

“Trust me,” said Iolaus 2, “you’re better off not knowing.”

Portals to their respective dimensions and timeframes were opened up. “GOODBYE, FRIENDS,” said Zordon 2. “AND MAY THE POWER PROTECT YOU.” The time-traveling guests nodded just before stepping through the portals.

NEXT: Deep Purple Dream